Cars, drivers and driving

   We managed to purchase a car from a family who will be leaving India in May.  We had wanted one far before this time but we looked high and low for a car that would fit our budget and requirements making a used car the only realistic option.  We had wanted to use the funds from our car sale in the US to purchase one here in India but with the bad winter in the states our car there did not sell until March, three months after we left.  We found a car to rent for a temporary ride but the size alone made it a joke to think about long term. 

    We called it a clown car, because when all five of us (yes the family rode in this plus the driver) piled out of our seats at our destination we looked like clowns unfolding from the corners of a small box.  One nice thing about the clown car was that the many street vendors who bang on your window to sell their wares would not persist at the windows of the clown car for long.  We physically looked like good targets with our clothes that look like a foreigner and out of place coloring but often they surveyed the car and bobbled their head from side to side then strolled onto their next best target.     
    The new car screams “sell to me”.  Clearly a foreigner’s car, the mini-van with window decals makes it an easy target for all street vendors at any stop light.  We have yet to purchase anything from a street seller except for a map early after our arrival here.  We keep the windows up at all times for safety, or that is what I say.  I don’t want the junk that is being sold and I have a sensitive sense of smell that often detects the scent of oil or tar or toxic from dollar store items and I would prefer not close these items inside my ‘windows up tight’ car.
     Hiring a driver has proven to be a challenge for me.  Our first driver came with the car we were renting and although he did not attend meetings for the directionally challenged, clearly he could have been accepted into that club.  He was the cause of my one weak moment when I purchased from a street vendor.  One day after making a few U-turns in an attempt to get to my husband’s office we were stuck at a traffic light and a man selling maps came to my window.  I believe in God and I felt he was a sign.  We were in the clown car and it was child proofed in the back seat so I could not put my window down.  I asked the driver to get a map.  The good thing there was he negotiated the price.  I bought a map for 50 rupees (equal to approximately one US dollar) and tried to make heads or tails of where we were.  I also get nauseous when I read in the car so I quickly gave up.  After we were safely home I offered the map to the directionally challenged driver but he was oddly not interested in knowing where we came from.  Possibly he did not have his reading glasses so looking at a map could have been a challenge.  We happened to negotiate our way out of accepting a driver with the rental car and tried to hire a driver for ourselves.  American Welcome Association

http://awadelhi.com/about.html  had a staff registry service that a person could use when we first arrived.  It is currently being combined with another service here in Delhi called Domstique  http://www.domesteq.com/  both services charge a fee, either one time or membership of sorts.

     Our first attempt at hiring a driver brought us a man who had some listening problems.  Not hearing problems that I am accustomed to dealing with in the deaf population but listening problems, slightly different.  Those with hearing problems can sometimes use an alternative communication such as sign language and still communicate with others.  Those with listening problems don’t listen, no matter the language spoke or written and for these individuals sign language is very limited.  He stayed with us for three months.  Our second attempt at hiring for ourselves we interviewed and did some test driving and even showed him a clear idea of what we expect, in writing.  Unfortunately what he told us during the interview and what his most recent previous employers stated were two different stories and it is really his past that is haunting him.  With the muddy references we have heeded their advice and we do not have this driver drive at night which is a strain on our lifestyle, especially the teenager who is constantly in need of asking for a ride from another friend.  We will keep this guy until June and then interview some of the many drivers who will be left behind as the mass exodus begins from the private schools in the Delhi area for the move to another country where their driver is not welcome to join the family.   From this new glut of drivers we are hoping that one family will gush about the driver and his skills and attitude and respect and everything that is nice to have in a driver and we will find a match for us and our new car.  Although it is hot and sometimes very dusty here in Delhi we are not holding our breath.

     Our new car has automatic transition and the mister and I went through the long and painful process of getting a driver’s license here in India.    If need be we could (by we I mean the mister) drive ourselves but driving is much different here in India.  Lines in general mean nothing to anyone, anywhere except to possibly guess someone’s age.  Unless one is making a 90 degree turn left or right blinkers are not necessary and even when turning left or right they are only an option.  If there is a gap and your car might fit in it that is where you belong.  The lines on the road mean nothing.  The line of cars at a light or congestion means nothing, but if your car might fit in the gap, that is where you belong.  On Sundays because of the limited number of cars on the road we have ventured out for a bit of family exploring, but only to locations we are familiar with.  Many stores are closed on Sundays and it is generally just a slower day all around, so it is a nice day to try our sea legs at driving (by our I mean the mister).  I might just try driving for a short bit, just to see if I still remember how to do it.  Although for me it is all backwards.  India cars have right side drive and traffic flows on the left side of the road, again this is optional.  It is all opposite from what I am familiar with.  But I am obviously not familiar with hiring a good driver either so what do I have to loose except for my perfect driving record (perfect by India standards that is).

No Pictures Necessary

Before moving to India, the mister and I discussed the physical distance we would be placing between ourselves and our family we grew up with.  Our parents, both sets, are still married to each other, all still living in the same general area we each grew up in.  Our siblings have moved away from those areas for the most part and even us, we didn’t live in the area we grew up in, although much closer to that area than India would ever be.  We discussed the general health of our parents and the health of our one remaining grandparent.  In the end we decided the decision was worth the risk and knew we had phone set ups and Skype possibilities that would aid in bridging the gap.

We now know that the phone set up is only as good as its setter and Skype is not helpful if one is in the hospital.  We had a family emergency over the last week and it is not all in the clear yet.

Mister’s father was admitted to the hospital due to illness and is still rebounding.  While the father in-law was being watched closely Mister was sent to the hospital because of an infection.  The mister’s health plan, thankfully, requires that he go to Singapore for any major medical issues.  Infections in India can promptly be termed “major” just because of the location of the patient, in India.  I stayed in India with the three kids; mister flew to Singapore and Mom in-law called with hospital updates from the bedside of Father In-law.  Mom in-law was not told of said son, my mister, being sent to Singapore.  I love my mother in-law and something told me, “We all have our limits”.  So we said our prayers and I slept near the US phone so that this setter would not miss another call.

We still have that new comers feeling of belonging here in the community but we all had a calm  feeling about what was/still is going on.  We feel if we need the support, it is here for the asking, but right now the prayers are holding us together.  Mister should return to India (land of infection) soon and Father In-law will have one more procedure before being sent home for recovery.  Prayers are still needed but my pictures are not necessary here.

Home Sick

Home sick could mean one is ill and staying at home.  That is what I have been doing for a few day lately.   We are all taking turns with a fever or a stomach ailment or a cough and needing our rest as we adjust to our new environment and bacterias that are foreign to our stomachs and selves.  Today I am home with kid three as he is running a fever and can not be in school.
Home sick could also mean one is sad and missing a place of home.  About this time of year, plans are being made by most people posted overseas for summer travel back to their home country.  Since we just arrived in December those plans for this summer will not be happening.  We will be sending kid one back to the states to do some much needed summer schooling and college visits but kid middle, kid three and myself will stay put on this side of the globe for the summer break.  The mister will be doing all kinds of travel for work so we have placed him in the "exempt from our planning" pile.
Kid middle and myself both feel that going back so soon is just going to restart the pain of saying good bye so we feel safe in staying here for the summer break.  Unfortunately kid three does not agree with us and really would like to make the trip.  All the kids have adjusted to this move incredibly well but if I had to pick one that is doing best and one that is doing worst I would have to say, really all are doing "best" but kid three has had more "sad days" than the rest of us.  Those days that you just can't stop yourself from thinking, "if only I were back in the US"... He has been lonely for his home, his dog, his friends, his routine, his way of life.  On his birthday this month he was asking me if any of his friends from US would come and visit us in India.  I told him maybe his cousin and one other family from cub scouts expressed a small interest, both of which made him happy to think about.
I guess when a person goes away, in the sense that they have not died but simply left their last location, it is reassuring to know from time to time that one is not forgotten.  I think he is feeling a bit forgotten, as we all do for brief periods of time while we think, "if only I were back in the US"...
Our whole family has fallen into relying on the www. to update anyone about our activities here in India.  We have not written letters or postcards to friends and family like we made grand plans to do.
So our goal for ourselves during the summer is to do just that.  Write little notes to Grandma and Grandpa and neighbors and friends and cousins and "pen pals".  I hope you all can join us and make this summer one to remember because of the paper trail we will leave behind. Let's keep in touch!

Spring Break 2011

Our kids have never really experienced a "spring break" trip in the past.  When school was out for a break 99 times out of 100 we would load all of us, and the dog into the mini van and head to Grandma and Grandpa's house.  We were very used to that drive and it became a staple for our kids growing up.
Now here in Delhi at the ripe ages of 16, 11 and 10 these kids experienced a spring break that was comparable to my spring break trip to Costa Rica, only I was in college at that time.  We loved Goa!  Goa is a state in India's west-central/south western region and is situated on the Arabian Sea.  It is India's smallest state by area and fourth smallest by population.  Formerly a Portuguese colony from 1510-1961 when it was annexed by India.  Saint Francis Xavier did mission work in this part of India and his body is now in the Basilica of Bom Jesus in Old Goa, where it was placed in a glass container encased in a silver casket. 
We did some swimming in the sea and in the pool.  We took a sunset cruise, that involved a lot of dancing (not our dancing).  We toured Panaji, the state capital and we saw lots and lots of churches.  Mostly little white churches but some brightly colored ones.  We enjoyed the abundance of fresh sea food and the moist sea air.  We shopped at the Wednesday Anjuna Flea Market.  We hope you enjoy our pictures as much as we enjoyed Goa.

Ciudad de Goa beach area



Zeebop Beach in south Goa

Our view from the table at Zeebop Beach Cantina.




We are often approached to have our picture taken.  To this smiling boy, I had to say "yes" with the clause that he had to be in the picture with me.  Then turn about is fair play and I asked for their picture.  (I hope they don't have a blog and are posting me on it now.)

Walking tour of Panaji, the state capital of Goa.

Streets of Panaji

Home in Panaji.

Still in the streets of Panaji

We saw Catholic churches all of Goa.

Up close churches

Farther away churches.

More churches

And more churches.

Inside churches.  Basilica of Bom Jesus where Saint Francis Xavier is in a glass container encased in a silver casket.

Dance party cruise ship.

Sea Pebble Restaurant is right on the beach with this bar built right into a cave at the back edge of the beach.  We ate here twice because we liked it so much we wanted to go one more time before we left Goa.

The Anjuna Flea Market was interesting.  Like most flea markets, it had a lot of the same stuff with different vendors. 

It is said to be a hippies haven.

We shopped and bargained (some better than others, IE kid one) and bought souvenirs from Goa.  In the end we left exhausted and ready for our flight home.

This little guy was so tired he found a place to rest under the table.  See his little feet, we ended on that note.
Bye Goa, we hope to meet again.



Our house

Our pictures have been hung on the walls with some care, with the hopes that a visitor (or two or three) will soon be here.  We had our first visitor here last week and it was a treat.  We knew she was coming, even before we left for our move.  It was a wonderful gem to look forward to as we tried to settle in to our new home, new life, new routines.
Our flat here in Delhi is by no means of equivalent proportions to the home we left back in the states.  It has ten foot ceilings, a bathroom to EVERY bedroom (four), the dining room alone has more floor space than our master bedroom had in the US, and that master bedroom was rather adequate. We have enjoyed such luxuries of living in Delhi.  Coupled with the fact that it is really hard to function without staff.

We have 24 hour guards that were in place before we even moved here.  We live in a multi-family structure and the guards came with the address, which was fine by us, we enjoy their presence.  We managed to hire a woman to do the "all around" work for the family.  She does the clean up, laundry, shopping when I ask her, she even cooks as long as it is an Indian or familiar dish.  She has been my personal trainer about the culture of India, my personal assistant as I try to get out the door or do a project, she meets the kids at the stop when they take the bus, the title "all arounder" doesn't seem to encompass all she does for this family (mainly me). 
We also managed to hire a driver.  We are still renting a car, and when that first started a driver came with the car.  We had a few issues with the rental driver that really came to blows when he neglected to come to work or call the ONE morning we had our first child leaving on a school trip to Chennai.  We were looking for excuses to sever that portion of the rental agreement and just hire a driver we chose ourselves so this mishap made for as good a reason as any other.  Through interviews and referrals mister and I selected what has turned into a great match for us as well.  He drives in a way that we are all comfortable, he is punctual and more than willing to work an extra hour or more of over time. 
Even the location of our home has turned into a blessing for us.  We wanted to be close to the school, walking distance was what we searched and hoped for.  Unfortunately nothing that met our needs was within walking distance and the bus is the only option unless the kids take the car and driver, which they do often.  But we have met our neighbors inside our building and on our street and we have a great area, great neighbors and great friends here already.
Now the only thing that could be missing is YOU.  We need to schedule our visitors and we would love to pencil you in for a time.  Please drop us an email and let us know when you think you might have a chance to spend some time in Delhi India.  We would love to see you!

Happy Holi...

One week early we were able to attend our very first Holi event, hosted on the AES campus.  The kids were all given kites and water squirters when we entered the area.

Kite flying started immediately followed soon by the street food experience.  The food was a huge hit for our family.  We use extreme caution with the food here because of the gluten free diet most of us follow plus we were warned that the quickest way to really experience Delhi is eat the street food and find a bathroom.  Our tender American stomachs can't tolerate the ways of India as well as most native stomachs, so it is best to skip the experience of street foods.
The school cafeteria works with our girls to find gluten free options for them and are great about explaining to the girls what foods have gluten flour and what do not.  Both girls and the mister all went through the line with a food personal employee explaining what foods they could and could not eat.  It was a great food experience.  Now we need to remember the names of the foods so we can try to make them at home.  Although some are best left on the streets for special occasions.  Much like the cheese curds from the state fair, it is really best just to eat them once a year.

There were drums, like any good Indian celebration has.  Always drums and always loud by my standards.

And then there were the colors and the water.  The colors are in powder form and the water helps the colors stick.  White or light colored clothes are a favorite so one can see the progression of the colors as the throwing and water play continue.

After everyone had a chance to throw and play in water if they choose to, a game of cricket was played.  We haven't learned the game fully as of yet but kid three has played at recess from time to time.  It does look like something we all want to learn more about. Just the vocabulary alone is fun to learn: cricket, wicket, bowler, popping, striker.  You try it.

What a Week!

One can look at a glass half empty or half full.  We prefer to dwell on the positive.  Renting a car that is too small for our family is not the most comfortable situation for us right now but...we have a car to drive and are not taking taxis (as often).  Availability of extra curricular activities are not as prevalent here as were at home but...other activities are things we never even thought we would ever do in our life time.  I can certainly be a Debbie Downer with the best of them but we are all a little happier to look at the good instead of dwell on the bad.  So in rejoicing for the good in our lives we must say, "YEAH to A and B from back home!"  A.Our house is rented out and leased for the time we are away in India AND B. Our car sold and money was deposited so we are that much more secure to buy a car here.  We haven't really found the car we want for the price we feel is right yet so the fact that the car wasn't selling really wasn't our hold up but it is nice to know that is one more weight lifted.
Quarter three ended here for the kids and so far we all still love school.  All the kids have made friends and are the social butterflies they always have been.  Play dates, birthday parties and late nights just like they have always been but in a new environment.  We are very thankful the adjustment has been so smooth thus far.  Whatever you are doing is workings, thank you all for the prayers!