Aunt Jeanne

It was almost one year ago we sat at the cross roads of the question, what do we do now?  It’s hard to believe Mister’s Dad has been gone for a year now.  Last year the answer then was Mister was to get on a plane and meet up with the family as they ushered Dad to his home and his resting place.  This year it's not so clear.  My Godmother, my dear Aunt Jeanne, lies in a hospital bed set up at her home with her family saying their final good byes. All the while, I am here in India wanting more than anything to go to her and tell her again that I love her.  Last November while Uncle was driving her to another doctor appointment she and I had a long chat.  We talked for almost an hour, my phone would disconnect, so I would immediately call her back and we continued our conversation.  It was great to talk to her.  I told her that this 2013 Christmas I would make strudel with her again.  A tradition that began a few years before her mother was ill and died.  Aunt Jeanne truly was doing better at the time of that chat.  She had begun the steroid treatments and the meds seemed to be helping with her recall.  She was able to hold a fairly good conversation.  Already by Christmas 2012 she had declined and when I called her on Christmas Eve she was already in bed and too tired to talk much more than a sentence or two.  We exchanged “I love you too”.  And then the rest of the family filled me in on her progress.  Days pass into months and now it’s March and I called the house to speak to Uncle.  I just wanted to reach out to him, I didn’t mean to cry.  He has the hard job of standing guard and caring for every detail of her care.  I told him I love him and thank him for all he does for my beautiful Aunt Jeanne.  But then I started to cry, and that he didn’t need.  In attempting to ask the questions and keep myself sober and clear I asked things about her doctor appointments.  She no longer has any. I asked about family members due to arrive.  We made the appropriate small talk but I did start to cry.  Lucky for me he is my big strong Uncle Ben and he handled it like the hero he is.  This call was placed March 2, 2013.

On March 8, 2013 my Godmother, my dear sweet Aunt Jeanne, my strudel making mentor, passed away.  It was things like this that I feared when we chose to move to India.  Not being there to say good bye and in person say I love you!