Same Old, Same Old

On the rare occasion when I catch a friend/family member (most recently my cousin) for a phone conversation I have a tendency to say “Same old stuff” in reply to what we are doing as a family or how I am doing with the move to India.  It may seem like a wall I am putting up so I do not have to share details but truly a lot of this is very much the same, just different locations.  As for myself, I am actively involved in the parent/school association at the American Embassy School where the kids all attend classes.  I am a member in some groups offered to expats in the New Delhi area, (American Welcome Association and Delhi Network to name just two such organizations), I bake regularly for our gluten free household and volunteer (less through the church here and more directly with the charity/NGO themselves).  The kids attend school like they always would, study hard and are involved in lots of after school activities.  Much of it is the same old stuff just different locations.

Recently the schools celebrated National Peace Day on September 21.  School assemblies gathered and both of our girls participated in peace presentations.  One though music and the other through dance, both were amazing.  While reading the district updates from our US home local school district I was struck by how same old, same old we really are.  At the middle school where my children would/have attend/ed I read how an art teacher lead a National Peace Day celebration locally in the front of the middle school.  The art students made pinwheels and all were placed in the lawn area in front of the school for a Whirled Peace Day celebration.  It really is a lot of the same stuff, just different locations.  Send an email, we would love to hear from YOU, same or different, what is happening on your side of the world (or whirled)?

Car Troubles

     Unfortunately we are getting a full dose of work and life in India this week/month.  When we moved to India we decided to buy a used car from another family who had one shipped here when they moved to Inida three years ago.  Three years old, used only in Delhi so not many kilometers/miles on the vehicle and a family car seemed to fit our requirements just nice.  The family did warn us that because the car is not from India it can be hard to get parts at times.  A few trips in and out of old Delhi or the back of Khan Market to gather parts may be needed to get a guy who knows a guy who has an uncle who can get you the parts by Thursday of next week's week is rather similar to the way we have to gather parts.     
     We have heard some noise from the car since we bought it.  This particular noise was thought to be some front suspension issue.  We realize mechanical work in India is the same as it is anywhere in the world, they are only guessing the noise is coming from these parts.  We had a large gap of time as we (by we I mean the help we enlisted) gathered the parts.  Parts that were being sought were things like upper and lower arm with bush, tie rod ends for both left and right, steering boot and shock absorbers, all of it as foreign as Hindi to me.
     It took mechanics a full day to take apart and replace the parts that actually fit into our car.  Not all parts were exactly for our actual vehicle but one similar to our car.  Our driver stayed with the mechanics and helped where he could.  He tried to explain to us the work that was done and why the parts that were not used did not work for this particular fix.  In the end we drove the car home with a slightly different noise that evening.  The next morning we heard the noise, the noise had always been worse in the morning, and the ABS light was on plus a slightly different noise added.
     At times I feel like I am caught in a Gilligan’s Island episode.  One where the professor is trying to fashion a coconut to fit as a tie rod or a lower arm bush.  Then in walks members of the Kupakai headhunter tribe and a conversation happens that no one understands.  The Kupakai headhunter tribe leaves the island and the professor is left with a new and different blender to make banana smoothies and all five of us toast the new drink but scratch our heads wondering, "Is this what we needed to do today?”
     So as pointless as the Gilligan’s Island episode, the car repair left us with no success.  We now have the noise and an ABS light telling us we need our brakes changed.  We (by we I mean the help we enlisted) will go back to the guy who knows a guy who has an uncle to get us the parts or parts similar to the ones we may or may not need to fix or repair or find another problem with the car.  Or maybe we will just park the car and sit inside watching old episodes of Gilligan’s Island and drink banana smoothies.

Day to Day Life with Staff

     Many of you have asked about our staff and for the most part I have refrained from sharing because 1) I'm a bit embarrassed that we have staff and 2) I am not so sure how I like it.   It seems petty to pick on such a convenience but it can be a hassle too.                           
     We were fortunate to settle into a household helper that has made us very happy and comfortable in our home from the beginning.  I still would not trade her for any amount of gold, even with the prices of gold going up.  She has been a blessing and so helpful dealing with everyday things that I have NO IDEA how to do.  Plus I think she might save me as much money each month negotiating my grocieries as I pay in her salary.  When she does the shopping for me (most often) she is able to get much better prices on everything.  Just this past weekend I was out and knew I needed eggs.  I asked our driver if he could bring me to the market to get eggs where he would take our household helper.  He asked if he should buy the eggs or did I want to get out of the car.  I knew what he meant so I asked him, “Will eggs cost me more than they will for you?”  Emphatically he said “Oh yes madam!”  Sad but true, when household staff does the shopping, I save money.  Problem for some people is that this is not always the case.  Sometimes one hires a staff member that will pad the bills and the inflated prices pad the staff’s wallet.  I feel very fortunate and equally as confident, that I have not had this problem with our household helper.  But she is proving to be not always perfect.  I have asked her not to put away the children’s clothes.  Partly because I don’t think it is too much to ask these kids to do something for themselves but the other part is she really has no idea who wears what and all of the clothes get mixed into each other’s drawers.  To us, it is obvious that a size 10 boy’s shirt does not belong to Mister but it seems harder when you have a female pre-teen, teen and Momma.  To her credit she does not put the kids’ clothes away any longer but Mister and I have to live with it and know that our drawers are on display.  In a literal sense as well, our clothes are dried on the rack in our front living room.  I asked for the clothes to be kept in the house while drying because it was making some female household members a bit crazy looking for a piece of clothes only to have it up on the roof drying.  I asked for the clothes to be dried only inside the house.  Problem is I then have to explain that when the music teacher or maintenance or the half a dozen other people who seem to need access to my home in any given week come through my house, especially those of the male gender, I would really prefer any bras, undergarments, male or female, please be politely removed from the drying rack which is delicately placed in the center of the living room for the world to view.  As if the flow of people coming through here doesn’t expose us enough, sharing the colors of our undergarments- we would really prefer it to remain a private matter.  It feels silly to think that other people seeing our underwear is embarrassing when on any given day as we drive from here to there we see countless children with no pants on, people bathing or men urinating at every given wall.  It is still my underwear and I would prefer to keep it private.  Trust me, you would prefer I keep my underwear private as well.
      So small corrections seem small but if not addressed can become much larger issues.  We have recently hired a cook for a few nights each week.  I thought it would be nice to have a few nights to not think about meals and leave it to the cook.  Sounds nice to most people I would think.  As long as all the groceries are from my house I would know if the ingredients were safe for our allergies. We only buy gluten free items, so all is safe.  We have had gluten free Indian dishes in many different forms but it all tastes the same, like Indian cooking.   Unfortunately for me it is not appreciated by more members in our household, so the cook needed a little talking to.  We addressed different types of cooking and ways to communicate the different ideas.  She told me she could read so I left recipes.  The recipes were not followed but the pictures were.  She did not read English so well.  So I left recipes with translations into Hindi.  Followed a bit better but she does not understand western cooking.  I asked her to clarify what she meant when she said she "does western cooking" during our interview.  She launched into a long story of how she has many certificates in cooking and the neighbor downstairs has seen them. (We both share the cook; neither of us wants to commit to a full week of cooking so we share the joy).  She tells me how she knows many cooking styles and different recipes.  I asked her to share the recipes with me so I could see if they will work for our family.  Trouble is the recipes are all in her head, not on paper.  Now how convenient is the cook?  I know the logical answer is to fire her and start again but remember the kids with no pants and people bathing near the streets…I can’t just let a person go without work because of my petty pallet and the pallet of those I eat with.  Plus I have turned this into a positive for me.  Now whenever I cook the family loves what I have made, not because I have increased my cooking capability but because my cooking is western and not just from a picture.
      We also have one more driver.  Ahhhh, the driver.  People will tell you the driver is the most important hire you can make while living overseas.  I am not about to challenge that statement but I am going to point out, the more that statement is stated, the larger the heads of those applying for the position of driver become.  I have yet to meet a more arrogant bunch of applicants in my life.  They know that they have what I want; they have confidence to drive on the roads in Delhi.  And these guys are not afraid to put their thumbs in their ears, wag all fingers and with their tongues out spit raspberries in my direction:  Nah nah nah to you madam.  Most of the time I feel like I am at the driver's mercy and it bothers me because it is MY car.  I stress to the drivers we have had that it is my car, not Mister’s car or the family car but MY car.  In reality the car is not registered to just me.  It can’t be because I am of the female gender and married.  Paperwork would get all clogged up and bureaucracy would halt just trying to explain how a car could be registered to a female who is married.  Heck, I am not so sure a woman could even register her husband’s death.  She might need her husband to do that for her.  I am not looking to investigate that further though, mind you.
      As relaxing as it may seem to have someone to take care of the little niceties in life,  it is a full time job managing the staff.  Just like any other business, sometimes the employees don’t get along and I have to intervene to make our needs the priority.  Please check your attitude at the door and remove your shoes before entering.  I need to train and come up with creative ways to make my point because of communication differences.  And I need to make it comfortable for my families’ needs to be met and not get pulled into the drama of others, no matter how real or made up the drama may be.  It is uncomfortable to know that my family has so much while others have so little but we must draw a line, and for me the hardest part to learn is living with the line that is drawn.  It is the struggle of opposites that I repeat. So it goes the day to day life with staff.

And they are off...

     In the lead there is a three way tie.  All of our kids are racing into the new school year with full excitement, vigor and joy to be back with friends.  So much of our summer was spent away from each other.  Away from family for three of us and also away from all those we have met here in Delhi.  This place clears out the day school finishes in May and doesn’t fill back up until hours before school is to begin.  Many of those who stay through the summer in Delhi are either on their way to another location or waiting until a week or so to pass before they travel. 

School tours were given and supplies organized, combinations memorized and phone numbers shared.  The excitement for school to start is contagious and it is fun to wrap one’s self into it.  School at AES has been in full swing for three full weeks.  I was fortunate to help with tours for new families at the AES campus.  Slightly ironic given I haven’t been here a year and some questions were dealing with the beginning of the school year calendar.  I am a proud badge wearer of the “I don’t know” club but I am willing to help us find out. 
     This week we have been reading about our family and friends back in the states beginning the school year the way we knew the beginning to be, and it's happening without us.  I still receive email messages from the school district we left behind and keep in touch reading on face book and friend’s blog sites but it leaves a slight twang of “missing you” singing in my heart.  The world we know, half a globe away is still marching on and doing quite well without us. Naturally, (insert eye roll here).   Hand prints are placed on the walls of the high school and our senior’s is missing (although you can look for her name thereJ).  Middle school is fretted over and prepared for so thoroughly with the program we left behind.  I feel much of the transition here was from our home schooling and preparing while we had little to do this summer. (I miss Mrs. D principal at the middle school).  And this is our last year with an elementary school student.  Fifth grade is huge and a fifth grade teacher is one of the most remembered teachers in the human memory. *
     So as we all march ahead into a new school year with smiling faces and joy in our hearts know that we also remember when, how, and where it used to be and are fondly thinking of all of you too.  Cheers to the first day of school for all of you. Ting You are in our thoughts and we hope your messages fill our bags and boxes with stories of your first day/week back to school.  If this were a race that would make us...starting three weeks earlier than you.

*This research is taken from my own opinion and the opinion of those around me.

Home again, home again, jiggity-jog!

     After our Thailand trip we arrived back at home in Delhi just nine days before school is to start at the American Embassy School.  Mister and Kid One returned together just five days later.  As our family is settling in with the five of us in one home again, we have been in to the school for schedules and supplies and to help with what we can to make the new school year go well.  We see many families we have not seen for the summer and are meeting many new faces as well.  I have read other blogs of those who have lived here in Delhi before me detailing the return to the new school year as a strange mix of reunited and land of the lost all thrown into one mix.
     Our house is that same mix at the moment.  Our family is reunited at last after the month of July in separate areas of the world.  While those that were in Thailand were away our wonderful house helper went on a vacation of her own to see her family in southern India.  While away she must have caught some kind of bug and has been sick since her return.  I asked her to stay home when she has a fever so as not to spread the illness to others.  We have checked on her by phone every day and encouraged her to seek doctor’s advice and exams to find out if she is in need of other medical attention.  So far it is just a nasty flu/cold and she has some medicine for her cough and congestion.  We are also in the land of the lost with her absence.  We have been forced to do laundry and wash dishes and all five of us have been in general picking up after ourselves.  As wonderful as it is to have the help, it has been nice to get back to our household routines with the five of us all in charge of ourselves.  It’s an odd feeling accomplishment to see the loads of laundry all done and put away, the dishes done and know that we washed and dried them ourselves.  We do not have an automatic dishwasher in our house, just the manual washers we brought.  We will admit we are spoiled to have help with these tasks on most days.  It makes the horns that honk all the time, and the feeling of being pushed where ever we go, the constant stares, the higher prices and all the other things we find ourselves complaining about that much more tolerable knowing that at home, we are spoiled and yet we are affecting the life of another human being while we are being spoiled in the process.  Again the odd mix of opposites in India, but it is our home again, home again, jiggity jog!

Note from the author; the nursery rhyme actually makes me think of my mom (and home).  I remember as a young child Mom reciting this rhyme for us kids at times.

It's a Mother Goose nursery rhyme:

To market, to market, to buy a fat pig, Home again, home again, jiggety-jig.

To market, to market, to buy a fat hog, Home again, home again, jiggety-jog.

To market, to market, to buy a plum bun, Home again, home again, market is done.

Summer Vacation

Kids middle, three and I all took a week off from India and traveled to Thailand to break up our summer overseas and away from extended family.  We miss everyone in the US but the trip to Thailand, even with our stay at some rather nice hotels, was one third the price to the US for all three of us.  Traveling within Asia would naturally be less when starting from Asia. Plus the fact that this time of year is hot and steamy and monsoons keep visitors at bay, we were able to get some pretty sweet deals on airfare and hotels.

A friend from Thailand taught us some quick survival Thai for our stay (sa wad dee ka/krub, kob koon ka/krub) which was nice to know and use while we were there.  Those at the resort seemed very impressed that we said hello/good bye and thank you in the language of Thailand.  Although the demeanor of those from Thailand is so pleasant, even if they weren’t impressed they would make it seem they were to make us happy and not to offend us.
We flew into and out of Bangkok but only spent one full day in the city.  From what very little we saw we can say it is HUGE and has lots of cars.  Bangkok in a quick day is not the way to see Bangkok but it gave us an idea that we would like to go there again sometime.  The rail system is impressive and easy to use, there is a lot of traffic and very little horn honking, and there is a really neat aquarium in the lower level of one of the malls that was well worth the visit. http://siamoceanworld.co.th 
The remainder of our time in Thailand was spent in Hau Hin, a lovely city on the Thai gulf about 125 miles (200 km) south of Bangkok.  We found a wonderful resort with great prices if we booked our stay online.  Asara villa and suites (http://www.asaravillaandsuite.com )  was every bit as beautiful as it looked online but even more fun than it can seem to a ten and eleven year old who are told to behave at every turn.  There were activities every day at three o’clock like kayaking, garland making, and origami that were all enjoyed.  The kayaks were made available to resort guests even when it was not the assigned activity time.  The gulf seems to house many jellyfish and we were told of them before going into the water.  Although we did not see any jellyfish (other than at the aquarium) we didn’t take our chances other than enjoying the kayak on two occasions.  Family members recently visited Florida and were stung by jellyfish so we learned from their mistakes.  We spent our water time in the two beautiful pools at the resort and visited the malls and night market at Hua Hin.  We drifted through a floating market and road on an elephant and in general just enjoyed ourselves.  It was truly a vacation to remember.                                                                                                                  The cherry on top came for our return flight home, to India.  Our seats on the way to Bangkok were first assigned to the exit row, where we cannot sit because of the ages of the kids.  Another row of very willing passengers exchanged seats with us to accommodate.  When checking in for our return flight I mentioned the mishap.  Partly to make sure we were not given the exit row again but mostly to point out that the kids were very good about changing seats and behaved themselves very well due to the circumstances of now you have it now you don’t.  I asked that if seats needed to be moved on this flight could we please be moved to business class?  The ticket agent politely smiled and assured me to plane was very full and she would not place us in an exit row.  Fast forward two hours later, while waiting for the plane to begin boarding the name of kid three was called over the loud speaker to report to the gate counter.  The thoughts, “Did we get ANOTHER exit row?” or “Could we really fly business class?” both went through the minds of all three of us.  The agent needed our boarding passes to write in our new seating assignment to which we all quietly and in a restrained manner, celebrated our journey.  We ended this beautiful trip on a wonderful note and flew home to India in business class, all three together.  Thank you Air India! http://home.airindia.in  

We will post some pictures of the trip at a later time.  That is what we are doing this summer.  What have you all been up to?

Independence Day Celebration

If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, does it make a sound?  The age old philosophical question that came to mind as people asked us in email, on the phone and on face book if we, as Americans, celebrated July fourth, Independence Day, with the rest of America?  Well our answer is yes AND no.  We celebrated with a grand display of red, white and blue at the American Embassy in Delhi India.  All American passport holders and their immediate family members were invited to the American Embassy in New Delhi on Saturday, July 2 to celebrate American Independence Day. There was a formal ceremony with the Marin Corps Color Guard and even video recorded messages from Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and President Barack Obama.  For the kids there was a bouncy castle and face painters, (thanks to the nice volunteers who painted faces!), as well as a tug of war and pie eating contest for the older party goers. (Note: the winners of the pie eating contest were not very old.  Teamed with a friend, kid three enjoyed a gluten apple pie in a very short amount of time.)  There was music and a great band that performed.  At the end of the night we enjoyed the fireworks display put on right next to our gathering place.  It really was an awesome display of our red, white and blue, apple pie eating, American pride.  Thank you US Embassy New Delhi/ACSA www.acsaindia.com for the help in celebrating our Independence Day.  Although a few days before the rest of America really celebrated, is it truly the DAY or the concept of independence that we are celebrating anyway?